I am now using Wordpress for all future blogs. You can find them at andrewvogl.org.
You can also follow me and get further advice and questions answered at twitter.com/andrewvogl.
Thank You,
Andrew Vogl
Friday, November 6, 2009
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Refrigerator Concepts
Titled "Refrigerator Concepts" to encourage parents to post this on their refrigerators. It is important to provide ourselves with constant reminders until we embrace these concepts.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
It’s Done in Business, Why Not With Children?
It has occurred to me that the parents I work with do not have a clear goal in mind for their child. I was doing some planning for a family I work with and asking myself what I could do to really help this family. “What am I doing that I haven’t done before?” I asked myself. I started thinking of a conversation I had the previous night with my mother and became aware that where some families may need help is so basic and so common a question that we regularly step right over it. Like many things that are simple and common, they are just as easy to overlook and live without. Many parents, like many business people, are going into a huge daunting project without a goal. I mean a really clear goal that has many specifics to it. For example, what you want for your child when he/she is an adult. Are you going for independency, normalcy, social integration, or improved behavior? What are the large and long term goals?
Every parent I meet already has goals, so I don’t mean to call people goalless. They all want what is best for their child. They all want their children to do better. They all want an easier life for themselves and their child. They all want their children to live happy, healthy, and independent lives. The only difference is, they have not committed to any one goal. They haven’t made a choice to what is most important and crucial to them. They also haven’t become clear as to what they intend to do to achieve their goals.
Just like the millionaires tell will tell middle and lower class people, we haven’t gotten clear on what it is we want. Obviously we can all make millions of dollars, the people who do it, especially today, are mostly just ordinary people. They don’t have a high IQ, they don’t have to come from a wealthy background. There are really no rules or patterns where we could logically say, “yeah, see, that’s not me.” There are teenagers becoming rich all the time through the internet, so the few rules we could claim have been shattered in the last decade.
We also have the parents out there who have been extremely successful with their child. We read about them or see them on TV. They have brought their child out of autism, completely mainstreamed their child, or their child has severe autism and no speech and is running a business while supervising staff. What do we do? We tell ourselves, “that’s not my child, my child is different and that kind of success in not available to him.”
What are we ultimately doing in this situation? We are being a victim, a giant victim. In being a victim we are looking for ANY reason to be unsuccessful. Under this equation we will find something, some reason to validate ourselves. We DECIDE to become a victim because this remains as a very effective way to not feel emotional pain. The emotional pain and guilt that comes with facing our lack of success.
Read on only if you want to do something about it! You can also do this with your mainstream children too, before posting this; I did for my two boys. I learned a lot and came away with several great ideas.
1. Answer 4 questions:
a. What is the most important and crucial thing that you want for your child or children that could summarize everything else?
b. Where do you want to see your child as an adult?
c. What are 3 to 5 specific details on each time?
d. What are 3 to 5 things you can act on right now to begin meeting your goals?
Microsoft Word Template to be printed out and filled out for this exercise
Every parent I meet already has goals, so I don’t mean to call people goalless. They all want what is best for their child. They all want their children to do better. They all want an easier life for themselves and their child. They all want their children to live happy, healthy, and independent lives. The only difference is, they have not committed to any one goal. They haven’t made a choice to what is most important and crucial to them. They also haven’t become clear as to what they intend to do to achieve their goals.
Just like the millionaires tell will tell middle and lower class people, we haven’t gotten clear on what it is we want. Obviously we can all make millions of dollars, the people who do it, especially today, are mostly just ordinary people. They don’t have a high IQ, they don’t have to come from a wealthy background. There are really no rules or patterns where we could logically say, “yeah, see, that’s not me.” There are teenagers becoming rich all the time through the internet, so the few rules we could claim have been shattered in the last decade.
We also have the parents out there who have been extremely successful with their child. We read about them or see them on TV. They have brought their child out of autism, completely mainstreamed their child, or their child has severe autism and no speech and is running a business while supervising staff. What do we do? We tell ourselves, “that’s not my child, my child is different and that kind of success in not available to him.”
What are we ultimately doing in this situation? We are being a victim, a giant victim. In being a victim we are looking for ANY reason to be unsuccessful. Under this equation we will find something, some reason to validate ourselves. We DECIDE to become a victim because this remains as a very effective way to not feel emotional pain. The emotional pain and guilt that comes with facing our lack of success.
Read on only if you want to do something about it! You can also do this with your mainstream children too, before posting this; I did for my two boys. I learned a lot and came away with several great ideas.
1. Answer 4 questions:
a. What is the most important and crucial thing that you want for your child or children that could summarize everything else?
b. Where do you want to see your child as an adult?
c. What are 3 to 5 specific details on each time?
d. What are 3 to 5 things you can act on right now to begin meeting your goals?
Microsoft Word Template to be printed out and filled out for this exercise
Monday, August 24, 2009
Understanding Your Child’s Control Issues to Break Through Barriers
Everything comes down to control! Trust me; this will explain every issue you come in contact with. The simple word of control can explain so much if we understand how it evolves as we challenge and use it. Children on the spectrum have enormous issues with control in many different ways. From potty training to obsessive behavior, control is always an issue. Success comes down to the ability to drop control. The people that can adapt to the world around them, coping with constant changes, disappointments, and unpredictable events are able to live successful and independent lives by simply dropping control.
As your child drops control he/she will always push back again to give their system another try. Think of it as the rhythm of dropping control, even though your child lets go, he/she will still make another attempt, making it look like it's coming back, when it's only part of the process of letting go. This is the very thing that takes a simple challenge and complicates it. A child pushing back it the very reason why parents feel unsuccessful and often give up. So to really confuse you, this avoidance is a valuable part of growth and flexibility, if you stick it out. You as the parent, feel like you are on a roller coaster with alternating growth and feelings of being stuck. Successes tend to hide under the surface and then pop up all of the sudden.
Parents often ask me for a new strategy because of the level of frustration they have experienced in the past. Although I have hundreds of specific strategies, I often recommend repeating a strategy longer. This is due to one simple problem in a very simple equation. If you consistently give up before your child does, this pattern becomes cemented.
What to do
1.Write down four challenges your child has.
2.Write down what your child is attempting to control. Example would be with Aspeger’s Syndrome, your child would be controlling his/her state of vulnerability (safety) by not approaching other children socially. An example with autism, would be your child is controlling his/her environment and the predictability of it by remaining locked into the same object for long periods of time.
3. Write down what would be the slightest degree of dropping control for your child. Example, increased interaction by one minute, increased community tolerance by one new store, increased independency by putting on one more article of clothing without help, or handling challenging noise either one minute longer or one step closer to the source of the noise.
You now have four extremely clear and concise goals and have transitioned from the vague state of, “I wish this was easier.”
4.Now that you have created a place for child to get to, hold that place as strong as you can, and put five times the energy you every have into it. Make it certain in your mind that it is impossible to go backwards.
5.You might be wondering at this moment, “okay I understand the concept of being strong, but what am I doing exactly?” I encourage you to ask yourself the same question. If you are feeling strong and certain, how would what your strategy and the steps to follow look?
I also encourage you, the reader, to read my article, “Knowledge Comes Second to Persistence” you will learn through reading and using these concepts that knowledge and strategy ALWAYS COME SECOND TO YOUR STATE OF MIND!!!!!
As your child drops control he/she will always push back again to give their system another try. Think of it as the rhythm of dropping control, even though your child lets go, he/she will still make another attempt, making it look like it's coming back, when it's only part of the process of letting go. This is the very thing that takes a simple challenge and complicates it. A child pushing back it the very reason why parents feel unsuccessful and often give up. So to really confuse you, this avoidance is a valuable part of growth and flexibility, if you stick it out. You as the parent, feel like you are on a roller coaster with alternating growth and feelings of being stuck. Successes tend to hide under the surface and then pop up all of the sudden.
Parents often ask me for a new strategy because of the level of frustration they have experienced in the past. Although I have hundreds of specific strategies, I often recommend repeating a strategy longer. This is due to one simple problem in a very simple equation. If you consistently give up before your child does, this pattern becomes cemented.
What to do
1.Write down four challenges your child has.
2.Write down what your child is attempting to control. Example would be with Aspeger’s Syndrome, your child would be controlling his/her state of vulnerability (safety) by not approaching other children socially. An example with autism, would be your child is controlling his/her environment and the predictability of it by remaining locked into the same object for long periods of time.
3. Write down what would be the slightest degree of dropping control for your child. Example, increased interaction by one minute, increased community tolerance by one new store, increased independency by putting on one more article of clothing without help, or handling challenging noise either one minute longer or one step closer to the source of the noise.
You now have four extremely clear and concise goals and have transitioned from the vague state of, “I wish this was easier.”
4.Now that you have created a place for child to get to, hold that place as strong as you can, and put five times the energy you every have into it. Make it certain in your mind that it is impossible to go backwards.
5.You might be wondering at this moment, “okay I understand the concept of being strong, but what am I doing exactly?” I encourage you to ask yourself the same question. If you are feeling strong and certain, how would what your strategy and the steps to follow look?
I also encourage you, the reader, to read my article, “Knowledge Comes Second to Persistence” you will learn through reading and using these concepts that knowledge and strategy ALWAYS COME SECOND TO YOUR STATE OF MIND!!!!!
Friday, August 21, 2009
The Core Ingredient to Creating Growth in Autism and Asperger’s Syndrome
Quite often, in my work with the parents, it is difficult to understand the magnitude of the effort and complexity of children’s avoidance to change. Children will do just about anything, as I have witnessed, to avoid changing. It’s not just about behaving and making good choices, it’s about change of any sort. Children are not only very clever, but are far more clever than they are usually given credit for.
Sometimes we can support this dysfunctional system by meeting the children in what they are doing versus what we would like them to do. We usually do this by trying to change the child instead of providing opportunities for the child to change. Before we know it, all of our time and energy is going to the behavior we are hoping to eliminate and this ultimately reinforces the behavior we are hoping will change. We can either do this by our words or our actions. From my experience with children on the spectrum, they are looking for this equation and find it extremely useful to further avoid growing. This way of coping is not conscious or unlike what the rest of us do when we are asked to change, but children on the spectrum are extremely talented at using this against us.
If the majority of our program happens during the child’s difficult moments, the child learns that this is the best way to get attention and control. It is imperative to have the majority of your time and energy invested into what you would like to happen as opposed to what is happening and what is the frustration. This is as simple to get past as it is as simple to be stuck in. Examples of existing and expected behavior include, hitting vs. communicating, repetitive behavior vs. growth or tantrums vs. flexibility.
A simple chart I have designed to rate yourself and concretely learn how to shift your energy towards growth appears below.
Once you have listed these opposing goals, ask yourself which side is getting more energy. Energy includes time, talking, arguing, redirecting or thought. Circle the one that is more, if they are almost equal circle both. Continue to do this every day until you see a change. Remember to be honest with yourself, you are trying to grow not make yourself look good. It’s not time to give yourself credit and have a self-support group.
Refusal to try something new
Example
1. Refusal to go into a new store
2. Refusal to use a toy in a different way
3. Refusal to use language
Flexibility and willingness to try something new
Example
1. Ability to try new environment
2. Ability to play in a new way
3. Ability to make approximation of language
Sometimes we can support this dysfunctional system by meeting the children in what they are doing versus what we would like them to do. We usually do this by trying to change the child instead of providing opportunities for the child to change. Before we know it, all of our time and energy is going to the behavior we are hoping to eliminate and this ultimately reinforces the behavior we are hoping will change. We can either do this by our words or our actions. From my experience with children on the spectrum, they are looking for this equation and find it extremely useful to further avoid growing. This way of coping is not conscious or unlike what the rest of us do when we are asked to change, but children on the spectrum are extremely talented at using this against us.
If the majority of our program happens during the child’s difficult moments, the child learns that this is the best way to get attention and control. It is imperative to have the majority of your time and energy invested into what you would like to happen as opposed to what is happening and what is the frustration. This is as simple to get past as it is as simple to be stuck in. Examples of existing and expected behavior include, hitting vs. communicating, repetitive behavior vs. growth or tantrums vs. flexibility.
A simple chart I have designed to rate yourself and concretely learn how to shift your energy towards growth appears below.
Once you have listed these opposing goals, ask yourself which side is getting more energy. Energy includes time, talking, arguing, redirecting or thought. Circle the one that is more, if they are almost equal circle both. Continue to do this every day until you see a change. Remember to be honest with yourself, you are trying to grow not make yourself look good. It’s not time to give yourself credit and have a self-support group.
Refusal to try something new
Example
1. Refusal to go into a new store
2. Refusal to use a toy in a different way
3. Refusal to use language
Flexibility and willingness to try something new
Example
1. Ability to try new environment
2. Ability to play in a new way
3. Ability to make approximation of language
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Online Resources for Autism Spectrum Disorders
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Introduction to Program for Autism Spectrum Disorders
My name is Andrew Vogl, I have been working with families of children with autism, ,Asperger’s Syndrome, and related diagnoses for the last fifteen years. I strive to bring a new, eclectic and simplified method of treatment for autism spectrum disorders. I have worked in and consulted with many different facets of this field from home based programs to various school based programs. I continue to bring new ideas into my program by my own research. My goal is to empower parents to use these simple strategies in the most effective way possible and to continue to bring together the many different approaches I have studied, into one comprehensive program.
In my counseling business I have experience with all ages and all levels of severity of the spectrum. I have spent a great deal of time individualizing my program and approach to meet both different and similar needs of the children and adults I have worked with.
This resource is meant to address one of my biggest frustrations I come across in my work, parents feeling like they have to wait for the right information to begin helping their child. I continually meet parents who believe they must wait for someone to tell them what to do, simply because they are not professionals.
My philosophy is to stay simple. I believe we over complicate many strategies with children on the spectrum and make it into something much more than it is. I continually attend meetings costing hundreds of dollars with little being accomplished. I am sometimes called a doer and always appreciate being called this because I try to create immediate changes.
This program is about doing something now! Your child is right in front of you, what are you waiting for? Half the things I teach parents, they already thought but spend far too much time doubting themselves and preventing their ideas from being used. What I am saying is, the need for educating ourselves first, comes from our emotional limitations not from a need to know something. This is not to say that strategies aren’t important, because I will eventually get into very specific strategies. All I am saying is there is an excessive dependency on STRATEGIES!
In my counseling business I have experience with all ages and all levels of severity of the spectrum. I have spent a great deal of time individualizing my program and approach to meet both different and similar needs of the children and adults I have worked with.
This resource is meant to address one of my biggest frustrations I come across in my work, parents feeling like they have to wait for the right information to begin helping their child. I continually meet parents who believe they must wait for someone to tell them what to do, simply because they are not professionals.
My philosophy is to stay simple. I believe we over complicate many strategies with children on the spectrum and make it into something much more than it is. I continually attend meetings costing hundreds of dollars with little being accomplished. I am sometimes called a doer and always appreciate being called this because I try to create immediate changes.
This program is about doing something now! Your child is right in front of you, what are you waiting for? Half the things I teach parents, they already thought but spend far too much time doubting themselves and preventing their ideas from being used. What I am saying is, the need for educating ourselves first, comes from our emotional limitations not from a need to know something. This is not to say that strategies aren’t important, because I will eventually get into very specific strategies. All I am saying is there is an excessive dependency on STRATEGIES!
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